Blood of My Blood

“Blood of My Blood” was created in part with my menses. I started this process is a way to really look at sexual trauma and to help myself heal from it. In my experience I have felt very disconnected from my body. I think that when we look at complex trauma there are so many different ways it is expressed. Maladaptive behaviors form, and each person will have a unique way of showing them in daily living. For me personally it has been to disconnect from the my body very specifically; ignoring my health in multiple ways. Reclaiming that has been a huge process. One I’m still undergoing. 

In November of 2018 my body began to change very dramatically and I started noticing some serious symptoms; one of which was very heavy bleeding. By mid-November, I was bleeding every single day. That did not stop until March of 2019.

Im January 2019, I had no choice but to engage my physical form. I felt my body was crying out “LOOK AT ME”! So when I did, I began to see clearly the spiritual link to my sexual trauma, and how layered and complex this actually was. My response was to create art. I decided to do a piece every month. I began collecting my blood and putting myself into a meditative state to create intuitively.

What I’ve learned through this entire process is that so much of what a woman experiences is being denied the actual control of her own body. Not just through current politics but through sexual violence. There is no one thing that brings health and healing or peace. The most sacred time for a woman is her cycle, it provides fertile ground for connecting to the Divine. Through this process I felt I was being shown not only how sexual violence damages this connection, but how to re-connect it. 

The question came up for me “ How do how does a woman reclaim body sovereignty after such a horrible act of violence”.  As an art therapist, I felt like this was important; but as just a plain average person, this question became paramount. 

I believe in my work and because of that I’ve been able to really go deep into my own trauma and my own experience of what healing can be. I think that reclaiming my own body sovereignty has been really seeing just how multifaceted I am, and how no one thing can make it all better. I’ve learned undoubtedly how to listen to my body. It’s it’s been very beautiful to be able to come to this understanding of Self. 

I’ve been able to not just compartmentalize this one thing, or that,  in order to continue moving forward in the world, but integrate it all back into my life in a more wholesome way. That has to do with the process of art therapy and being able to use non-verbal ways of connecting with those very painful parts of my life. 

I’ve been really appreciative of this whole process and the people who have been inspiring me and continuing to encourage me to do this and to share it in some small way. 

“Blood of my Blood: Mother of Worlds”, 24”x18”, menstrual blood, mixed media, 2019“
“Blood of my Blood: Distortions”, 24”x18”, menstrual blood, mixed media, 2019“
“Blood of my Blood: She said there were Two”, 18”x24”, menstrual blood, mixed media, 2019“
“Blood of my Blood: not all your seeds will grow”, 18”x24”, menstrual blood, mixed media, 2019
“Blood of my Blood: Life or Death”, 18”x24”, menstrual blood, mixed media, 2019
“Blood of my Blood: I forgive you”, 18”x24”, menstrual blood, mixed media, 2019

2 thoughts on “Blood of My Blood

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